Star Trek Phone Chargers

In this Fediverse thread about how the most implausible part of Star Trek is that all of the devices just kind of interoperate when we can't even get phone chargers to work right, I got inspired:

Don't use the Klingon one. It'll blast your device with random voltages and then call it weak if it explodes.

The Borg one works with anything but after the first charge, your device will no longer be compatible with any other charger.

The Ferengi one is crap, plus it bills you per minute of charging.

The Romulan one is widely believed to install spyware but nobody has managed to prove it.

The Vulcan one is a featureless gray sphere with a slight flat spot so it doesn't roll. Nobody has any idea how to use it. When asked, Vulcans will respond either implicitly or explicitly that it's obvious and your question makes no sense.

Cardassian chargers have astoundingly terrible ergonomics. It's possible to get one to work with most phones but it's usually not worth the effort.

The Bajoran chargers are just Cardassian chargers with pieces hacked off and the gaps filled with epoxy and duct tape.

They're still easier to use than the Cardassian chargers, though.


#   Posted 2019-10-10 01:28:01 UTC; last changed 2019-10-10 01:30:21 UTC